Purrrrfecttttt

I am constantly disillusioned by the notion 'perfectness'. When things go really well, I have a habit to actively seek a flaw with it, convincing myself that such things are simply too good to be true. I always look for a 'catch' in supposedly good deals, and usually refuse the deals even if I can't find any flaw, believing that something is bound to catch up with it in future.

Anime girls. Big boobs, short skirts ,long slender legs and gleaming, doleful eyes. Epitome of 'perfect' sex symbols.

Friends who have no temper and who are forever so ' niceee' sometimes get to me as well. I do appreciate their kindness, but how can anyone be so positive about life every single moment , or at least appear so, even when if they may have stepped on a pile of dog poo? And not flare up??? Ultimately it could be my sense of inadequateness, because they always make me feel guilty for being the one who contributes less in our relationship: they are the ones who regularly suggest we meet up, that they carry the shopping bags, that they pay for most of the bills when we eat out.

Regina commented that she had never seen her ex-housemate, who is a really sweet gal, quarreled with her boyfriend. She knows both of them well and there seemed not a single glitch between them, and they are getting married soon. That's great i said, but silently contemplating if such a relationship is even possible. No conflicts? Either both of them are saints (both are christians) or ...oops , I can't seem to think of the 'or'.

Again, could be that I know that i could never be a Stepford Wife, hence the envy bordering jealousy that some other gals can be so 'perfect'. I am not gentle enough, plagued by the constant tendency to forget something ( as if i MAKE A POINT TO DO SO, haha), almost knocking someone's nose off accidentally with my elbow, or have traces of chilli sauce at the corner of my mouth after a meal. I am no miss purffectt...in my heart i think i strive to be, but i know i will continue to be like that, and forseeing myself forgetting where i put my dentures when I am 60 years old (assuming not due to dementia) and had to go to the market toothless (bo geh) to buy some taugeh.

That's it then! If i can't be purfecttt, no one can ever be. Purrrrrrr....