Devil

It feels strange to write again.

Haven't been writing because...

I wish I can just give common excuses such as having no time, nothing-better-to-say etc.

Yea, they are partly true yet not entirely.

Increasingly i hope He won't be reading my blog, because in core i m a devil and when he finds out, I am afraid He'll stop loving me.

I really crave for a dark dingy spot where no one would find me to indulge in my decadence. To write freely and vent my true feelings,without the need to think that it might hurt anyone. Thinking about starting another blog where no one knows who I am. Maybe then i can find myself again.

Since we got together I find myself slowly losing my voice ; I have started to put restraints on my language and expressions, because telling the truths only serve to complicate matters and untangling complications can be mentally draining. Our relationship's still young, and i don't want to nip the bud before it blossoms. It is easy to say honesty is the best policy, but in a relationship, honesty doesn't always work. Sometimes it is better to just cruise along on the calm, romantic waters than to get sucked into by turbulent undercurrents. Having someone to love and miss is a wonderful feeling, yet with it comes more accountability to the things u say and do. It is almost a spoilt brad being forced to become a nun.

I am devil, and i m dying to prove it.