The Weight Of Memories
These days I haven't been blogging, because first all I am all occupied with all the procedural processes before my embarkation to australia next month. These processes are mundane and not worthy of mentioning. At the same time, so mixed and intense are my feelings , yet putting them in words would feel contrived. So, i end up writing nothing.
As I was sorting my boxes of things today, only then i realised how many things I will leave behind. My collection of books, CDs, whimsical little things given by my friends all these years (like my Barbie doll *it is perfectly fine to have one okkk*, a bendy smiley-face daisy, little scented candles etc). It suddenly dawns on me that it will be impossible for my lug all these things that belong to my 'past' to this new place. They have been in my life for as long as i remember but no, they will not be able to follow me. There is no place for them in my 'future'.Fundamentally, or be it symbolically, I will be going to this new place naked. With as little baggage from the past as possible. Or else I will find it too hard to leave. Even so, ten years of memories in this place already weighs a tonne.
Been catching up with as many friends as i can these days. With less than a month before I leave, there seems to be an urgency , even necessity to meet everyone before i go. Heh, u must be thinking i m making it sound as though I am about to die from a terminal disease , that everything sounds so finetto. Come on, not like u r not gg to see each other again?! That is true, but I am not sure how weathered I will be ,due to changes and experiences overseas, and how different it will feel when we see each other again, in a year the soonest. The state of friendship now can be as sublime as solid iodine, or it can be as rocky strong as carbon. No one knows.
A new life is waiting for me ahead, and i will walk into it like a newborn and start afresh. However, not entirely as "new" as can be, coz she still retains memories from before, collectively weighing about a tonne.