To-Dos, Taboos At a Chinese Wake

Went to friend's dad's wake at JB today. When we arrived, there was a ritual going with a monk chanting mantra and the kins of my friend's dad walking in rounds. We were then invited to sit at a round table and served paus and water.

There are so many customs,beliefs, to-dos and taboos when attending a buddhist wake. Had it not for the reminders and enlightening from my friends, I would have missed or done something I shouldn't have.

1) Wear black or white or plain colours during a wake. Ok, this is definitely an idiot-proof. Wore a black blouse and a denim skirt, but was totally bewildered by the appearance and behaviour of this particular man at the wake. He wore RED BATIK-PRINT long-sleeved shirt, and joked raucously with his friends at the tables.

2) Give odd-numbered amount of cash for bai2 jin1. This is semi-idiot-proof too, but I guess I was a little dense in the head when it comes to the significance of numbers in Chinese customs. Had wanted to give 40 ringgits until friend reminded me. Topped it up with another ringgit after that. 41 ringgits.

3) Never use the cash intended for bai2 jin1 to give change to other people. Never knew this.

4) Upon giving bai2 jin1, one will receive two sweets tied in a red string for good omen. One must eat both of the sweets at the wake. Try not to bring the sweets home.

5) A friend's Mom asked him not to go home straightaway after attending a wake. One should make a round to somewhere else first, even it means going to 7-Eleven to buy a snack. Apparently that is to dissipate the hui4 qi4 picked up from the wake, so as not to bring 'it' home.

6) Those who are of the chinese zodiac "dog" are not fit to attend wakes this year. Even if they do attend, they are not to consume any food or drinks at the wakes. A friend believed in it and abstained from the water and paus.

There are so many beliefs in the chinese customs. Some would scoff at them as pure superstitions, others prefer not to question their validity and follow them dutifully. Whatever it is, i believe in showing appropriate respect to the deceased and his/her family and practise the decorum expected of us during such events.