Deliberate Changes. Exogenous Changes.
Haven't been writing for a long time. Not becoz there was nothing to write about, but more so becoz everything is Swensen's Earthquake: 7 different flavoured ice-cream melted into a rainbow-coloured mush that u cannot discern the flavours anymore.
Recently, it struck me that I need to inject little anomalies in my life to spice it up. But most often than not, such anomalies cannot last: when anomalies reach a steady state, when the novelty wears out and are no longer anomalies, then it is time to add that dash of tobasco sauce in your life again.
When i first moved to this hall, I was disgusted by the outlandish and obnoxious behaviours of some of the residents here: food-stealing is rampant; and some desperate perverts who sneak into gals'toilets late at night. There was so much outrage and public discussions about them, gals huddling in the bathroom to talk animatedly about how to protect ourselves, how to teach that peeping-tom a lesson should we catch him etc. But now, everyone has resigned to the fact that there are indeed many incurable weirdos in this place and we just have to live with them, by making the changes ourselves. Simply do not put food in the fridge and do not bathe late at night.
As said above, I believed that I needed some changes to prick myself so to feel bodily sensations again. So last Saturday Nadya and I decided that this is it : going to Orchard Road on a Saturday is boringgggg....let's do something crazy that no one has never done, but not too crazy that will publish our faces on the headlines the next day! We were discussing and suddenly the lightbulb above our heads went "TING!" : we decided to go for a picnic! U may rebuff: cheehhh, picnicking where got crazyyyyy? The thing is we decided to do it right in the heart of the school where there was a lush green patch of grass shaded by gainly trees. No one ever steps into that place before. Everyone just hustled past it on their way to lecture halls. So, we went to buy a MAT, a FRENCH LOAF and some NACHOS and SALSA for our picnic plan.
We picked a nice spot to lay out the mat and foods, the weather was perfect, dapples of sunlight and slight breeze. Nadya then lied down to read a magazine and recited out loud a passage for me to hear, while I dished out the nachos and salsa in a bowl and spread some Goober Grape Peanut Butter on bits of french loaf and popped them into my mouth. Then I lied down on my back completely too, staring up through the canopy of lush green leaves. Other than people who walk past giving us weird stares ( two gals lying in the middle of nowhere with a spread of feast around them is not very common in singapore.), the rest of things were perfect. We talked while lying down, took some quirky pics of ourselves and ants which tried to steal our foods. It was a refreshing rommie-bonding session, haha.
Changes like these can be rejuvenating; getting out the norms to do something crazy and fun, but it dawned on me that sometimes i feel so powerless and unable to cope with certain changes. When circumstances change, my heart is still like a stubborn mule refusing to budge. Feelings can be fleeting and transient at times; but sometimes they can be so steadfastly stubborn; u know that u have to go with the flow of the change to feel better but u continue to cling on so as not to be swept away...
Artificially injecting changes and coping with exogenous changes both requires efforts; and a change in attitude to initiate/ deal with them.